I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
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