The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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