Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
