The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
my phone needs a breathalizer
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
