Just mADE A PArabola og urine
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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