In the future we'll all be gay
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
