ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
