Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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