She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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