she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
