I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
