new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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