I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Randomize
