Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
