We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
