i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
