It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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