fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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