Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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