it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
