Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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