sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
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