thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
