thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
NoShamevember. You game?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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