I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
