these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
