I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
