i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
