Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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