New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
