Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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