btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Come share oat with me in your robe
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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