I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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