I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
