He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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