Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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