chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
