Christians are straight up FREAKS
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
