I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
