I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I just blew my weed a kiss
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
