Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
