A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
