toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
