New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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