Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
