i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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