Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
