Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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