No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
