Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
