I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
