after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
There was a lot of him and a little penis
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Randomize
