just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
